No bandaids

Caring about people means we hurt when they hurt. It doesn’t always mean we prevent them from hurting.

Rescuing someone from short-term pain may actually extend their long-term pain. If we believe it’s our job to keep them pain-free, we’ll both be disappointed.

Removing challenge from your team member only fragalizes them to future challenge.

If you shelter your kids from reality, it will hurt them more when reality sets in.

Instead, be with them. Help them interpret what went wrong. Show them how they are being sharpened, the truth about them that’s being illuminated, and the kind of person they want to become.

Don’t create band-aid solutions. Look at the challenge honestly, and help people face it. 

If you don’t, your probably prolonging pain (not preventing it). The stronger the shelter from pain and uncertainty, the bigger the surprise when it cracks.

Leaders: Business is painful. Sales don’t always go through. Customers are unhappy. Face it together! Let your team discover real healing, not just protection from pain.

Parents: Kids can be unkind, hearts get broken, and not every test has a good grade. Face it with them, don’t just rescue them from it.

Pastors: Faith is bumpy, the Bible is clunky, and following Jesus isn’t all sunshine and roses. Don’t cover it up, help us face it.

We are flawed, we make mistakes, we are messy. It might not always be the best thing to let it out, but it certainly isn’t the best to cover it up.

No bandaids.

I write every week about leading, connecting, and change. Subscribe here and I’ll send it straight to your inbox.

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